Sunday mornings mass will be live streamed from Christchurch Hamilton at 10:30am https://www.facebook.com/AnglicanHamilton on May the 10th

I was in grade 5 at Warracknabeal Primary School, when the principal walked into our classroom and calmly said. “Johnny,” (obviously not his real name) “There is a message for you at the office.”Johnny promptly left the classroom and the real reason for the principals visit tumbled out.He explained that over the weekend Johnny had been caught stealing a radio. Things didn’t get better. Johnny had an older brother and in secondary school they frequently used to spend their lunchtimes in a passionate game of fisticuffs until either a teacher came, or one of them fell to the ground bleeding.On the night before Johnny was due to go to prison he took his life into his own hands.  I want to come back to Johnny later.This mornings gospel is one we are used to hearing at funerals. “Do not let your hearts be troubled, trust in God. In my Fathers house there are many rooms.” But it is the disciples questions that I find most encouraging. It starts with good ol Thomas.Jesus has politely explained that …He is going away and they know the place where he is going.Thomas replies, ‘Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?’

Then Phillip gets on board and has a go.Philip said to Jesus ‘Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied.’In response to Thomas and Phillip, Jesus points back to himself. To Thomas ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life.To Phillip, and here Jesus frustration is beginning to show.“Have I been with you all this time, Philip, and you still do not know me? Whoever has seen me, has seen the Father?So the answer to the disciples questions, and therefore our questions, is to direct our attention back to the Master himself.

All that is right, and good, and proper, but in these irksome days some of us, myself included, might be finding it a bit harder to see Him. We are unable to partake of Him in the bread and wine of the altar in the usual way and the chances of us seeing him in the faces of others is greatly diminished in this time of social distancing and staying at home.So what do we hang onto?A few things that I find useful and perhaps you might too.Someone once gave me a little metal cross. Its about the size of the palm of my hand and I hold onto it when I say my morning and evening prayers. Sometimes the hard metal digs into my skin and reminds me of a few uncomfortable, but helpful truths.The other thing that I enjoy is holding onto the prayer book or bible. I know that you can do all of morning and evening prayer on a tablet, or phone these days, and I get the whole … ‘not having to look up the lessons thing’, but for me at least there is something quite reassuring about holding a book in my hands. Finally, I discover things that I have missed in the reading of the scriptures. I’m chugging along and thinking “Oh yeah.. I know how this bit goes” and all of sudden I see something that I have never seen before. Or at best, I rediscover something I had learnt years ago and forgotten.Something else to think about. Perhaps the trick is not just wanting to see, understand and reach out to Our Lord. Part of it must be allowing ourselves to be accessible to Him. To be open to the possibilities of what He has to teach us and show us. Maybe its as simple as just making ourselves available and accessible to Him. We willingly schedule time into our diaries to listen and learn from others… why not for Our Lord as well. What is it that he wants to bring to his meeting with you?So what of Johnny. Johnny came to mind the other day at morning prayer. So I found myself praying for him, which is something I should have been doing for the last umpteen years.  The cross dug into my hands as a little reminder of someone who  also died a grizzly, lonely death. By a marvellous coincidence the lesson for morning prayer was something that finally made sense of Johnnys life in a fresh, helpful  and hopeful way.  ‘Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe[ in God, believe also in me.  In my Father’s house there are many dwelling-places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also.

Most of you know that I grew up on a wheat / sheep farm in the Wimmera. With mixed feelings I remember droving sheep with my father and brother. We had to take the sheep to a farm where there was a facility to drench them. The time it took to get there seemed endless. It was hot and dusty, I was thirsty, the flies were incessant and it seemed like we were never going to arrive. The sheep were recalcitrant, and they just never seemed to do the right thing.

My father would be in the ute at the front leading the way and making sure that oncoming traffic was aware of the pandemonium that was following. My brother and I were behind the sheep testing out a new vocabulary on the straying sheep and I want to come back to this happy little bunch a bit later.

Often when we think of leadership, authority and Christ the good shepherd, we think of the father out the front berating and haranguing. Come along… This way folks. Tallyho!

And there is a place for the hard things to be said… graciously. There are occasions when the way forward must be cleared and a centennial or prophetic way of leadership is necessary.

There are times too, when the Master encourages and cajoles from behind. With compliments and Thankyous, the shepherd emboldens us to the new adventures that await us. Perhaps even this morning he is saying to you. “You can do this. I do believe in you”.

Now a point of clarification.

You could easily think that the church shepherds are just the deacons, priests and bishops. It certainly involves them, but it is not exclusive to them. You may not be aware of it but you have shepherded me beautifully since the whole covid 19 thing turned our lives upside down and round the wrong way. The way you have stepped up in your ministry is inspiring and exciting and moving. By your gestures of kindness, thoughtfulness, and good old fashioned pastoral care, you have said to me and to others…. (perhaps unwittingly)

“This is the way to do do things., This is how you care for people. This is how you show them what God is like.”

So what else is in the shepherd’s job description.

The good shepherd lays down his life of this sheep.

So Our spiritual leaders, both lay and ordained, priests and people are called to lay down their life for their sheep. In this day and age, and in our culture, it probably won’t equate to martyrdom but there is a very real sense in which we lay down our life across the years in the joyful service of all.

First and foremost laying down our lives for others means this. To make our own lives, our joys, our sorrows, our despair, our grief, our grumpiness, our hope, our isolation, our experience of intimacy, our friendship … to make all this available to other people as a source of replenishment and sustenance for them. To offer to all, the grist, our daily bread, our daily life, so that others might be fed and nurtured. And this is a risky, risky business. For like Our Lord we leave ourselves vulnerable and open to be pierced, ignored, denied, rejected, stomped and jumped upon.

As shepherds, the greatest gift you and I can offer the people we serve is… our very selves. We can offer consolation and comfort especially in times of confusion and uncertainty.

It is in these times, that we can say “Even though you walk through a very dark place, I am with you. See, I have walked this road before and I am walking it with you now and I will stay by your side. Watch out for that pot hole… mind the loose stone there. This bit is easier.” This is the way that we, you and I together, become Christ like shepherds. And it is a noble, exhilarating, heartbreaking and thrilling vocation.

Remember my flimsy adolescent attempt at droving. Another  image of the good shepherd might be the shepherd that is walking right in the middle of his sheep. Walking with them, surrounded by the noise, and the heat, and the flies and the mess and the joy of knowing that we are all on our way together.

Christ the good shepherd. Not just at the front saying confronting things, not just at the back cajoling and rounding up, but also right in the muck and sparkle of our humanity. Enjoying it, relishing it, delighting in it and rejoicing in it.

This is Christ our good shepherd. He who spreads a table before us. This he who anoints our head with oil and fills our cup to overflowing.

This is the shepherd whose goodness and love will follow us all the days of our life, and we  will dwell in the house of the Good Shepherd forever.

In the film “The Quest for the Holy Grail” an excited throng bring a woman to their village leader claiming that she is a witch and that she ought to be burnt. Her ‘trial’ goes like this.“How do you know she is a witch?” “She looks like one!”“They dressed me up like this” comes the defence from the unfortunate woman whose life expectancy is diminishing by the second.The crowd responds “Well… we might have done the nose… and… the hat… But she is a witch!”“So what makes you think she is a witch?”“Well, she turned me into a newt”“A newt?”“Well… I got better again … but she is a witch” The whole scene is funny because of the ludicrous way in which the woman is set up and ‘tried’. But there is a darker side to it. In troubled times, it is hideously easy to look for someone to be the focus of our angst and worry. There is a temptation to publicly or privately, think less of others simply because we are not well informed of their culture, their way of life, their thinking. They might dress differently, speak differently or they might come from a different nation. They might be a political, spiritual, or sporting leader who has disappointed and whose faults are shown in the unforgiving glare of the television. I wonder which of us could survive such searing, relentless investigation and publicity? The trick is to see the person as a person, not a witch. In these irksome times, we can choose to be a fearful mob dressing others with our own preconceptions and prejudices, (re the hat and the nose) or we can take the time to discover how others can be quite magnificent and in so doing bring about our own healing.

-- Sunday Mornings mass will be live streamed from Christ Church Hamilton on the 26th of April at 10:30am

It used to be a doorbell, a handshake,  a cuppa, a chocolate biscuit and a conversation. Reading the nuances, asking the right question at the right time and knowing when to bask in the silence. This was how I connected.

But I do things differently in April 2020. My time is spent pushing buttons on the phone, clicking a mouse, typing on a keyboard, squinting at screen. My vocabulary has changed with a bunch of new words. Facetime, Skype, Duo, Zoom and Facebook to name but a few. This is how I try to connect with others, stay connected with others.

But scratch a little deeper friends. “Connected” is certainly our buzz word, but what exactly does it mean to be ‘connected’ in April in 2020? At best there is a visual image with a voice on a screen. But this is not conversation. The Duo /Face time/ Zoom thingy is clinical and clunky. The telephone diminishes a person to a disembodied voice. This is all I have and I am grateful that these things are at my disposal but… there is a part of me that wants to yell, quite loudly. “It’s not the same!”

So I turn once more to the Master for consolation, wisdom and advice. I look fervently for solace and a way forward. I recall and give thanks that the Master has connected himself to our humanity in not just its joy and sparkly bits, but also its blithering disappointment and bewilderment. Thats what Christmass was all about. I also recall a guy who willingly connected himself to our suffering and even our death, so that we might always be connected in a life and place where we can never be disconnected again.

Easter 3  26th of April. Matthew 28:8

Suddenly Jesus met them and said, ‘Greetings!’ And they came to him, took hold of his feet, and worshipped him.

The clutching of the feet is interesting.

For one thing it tells us the posture of the disciples.They must have been pretty much prostate on the ground which explains why Jesus says “Do not be afraid”.

But feet this is not the only place where feet are given a lot of attention.

It wasn’t that long ago, in fact it was only a matter of weeks when Jesus washed his disciples feet. I guess he could have chosen to shampoo the disciples hair, or wash their hands, but no it’s the feet that got all the attention. Largely because it was the custom that host would wash the guests feet anyway, but the point was that washing another feet is not a nice job. The message was that you do the yuckiest stuff for the people who you know will let you down or will disappoint you.. So feet are the place where service and humility are demonstrated.

Feet are also the place of intimacy and anointing.

Remember the unfashionable woman who came to the fashionable dinner party? Jesus feet got a lot of attention.

Jesus feet are also the place of piercing. The part of the body that had nails smashed through them. These puncture wounds are Jesus exhibit A to prove his love for us. When Thomas is shown the hands and feet it is living proof of what and who it is that stands before him. Who it is that invites him still to come closer and engage with the mystery and wonder of the resurrection of the Master.

10 Then Jesus said to them, ‘Do not be afraid; go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.’

Question… Where did Jesus go between this encounter with the disciples and ….catching up with everyone in Galilee.

Let me offer a couple of wild, out there theories.

1. Caught up with mum. There are several different people Jesus catches up with after his resurrection. The disciples on the road to Emmaus. The fishing party which provides breakfast for the disciples. Appearing to  Thomas and the 10 locked in fear in the upper room.  But one person is missing. One very significant person is not listed anywhere. And that person is Jesus mother Mary. I strongly suspect that she did encounter the her risen Son. If our loving relationships continue beyond the grave, then I believe it is certain that Mother and Son met again. But the event is not recorded for us. There are some things that are very personal and are not for publication to a wider audience and the nature of the encounter between mother and son is one of those meetings. What passes between them is not for us to know or speculate. It belongs purely between the two of them.

2. What if the Risen Christ went off had had a quiet word of reassurance and with Judas? There are things that I am sure that Jesus would like to say to Judas and there are probably things that Judas needed to say to Jesus. Even if Judas was ashamed and didn’t want to, he would still need to. It would have been a difficult conversation and I reckon there would have been tears. Tears of sorrow and shame on Judas part and tears of love on Jesus cheeks.  Eventually there might even have been tears of joy and reconciliation. Yes there would have been much to sort out between Jesus and Judas. Quite a bit of homework I suspect, but not insurmountable. Just a lot of hard slog which is also true of you and I.

And 3, what if the Risen christ caught up with Pilate. Not to reprimand or berate, but to say “Well done. I know you tried really hard and you did really well. Do you understand that it was just part of the big picture? Lets sit down here and I will fill you in why it was necessary for the Messiah to suffer and die. Do you see now?”

I began with some mutterings about feet and how they recur frequently in the good book and I finished with where the feet of the risen Christ might have taken him after his resurrection.

My question is where does our Lord want your feet to go this week. Who does he want you to contact? It might be someone you care deeply about. It might be a tricky conversation of reconciliation, or it might be a sharing of information, like Pilate. And perhaps somewhere in the quiet of “Stay at home’ we might also come to realise that the Risen Master has also come to visit us.

Someone of ‘mature of years’ kindly phoned the other day. They reflected that the millennial generation will speak of ‘pre’ and ‘post Covid19’. They will be able to recollect what life was like before the pandemic, what it was like during and what life is like after.At the moment we haven’t emerged out the other side. We can’t look back with any clarity because we are still stuck in the middle of it all.But one question keeps on bubbling up.

What am I learning? I know that I am learning lots about the new rules and I am learning a lot about myself. At 60 I had naively thought that I had it all sewn up, stitched up and sorted. But no! I have had to learn geeky things and I have had to learn to be very patient with myself as I slide up and down this relentless learning curve. This has been an infuriating process, full of mistakes and disappointments. In the long run it will not have done me any harm. Easy to say of course, not so easy to live out.

One day we will emerge from this. Just how and when is a moot point, but emerge we will and we can never be the same again. I imagine that our planet will be a different place, and our society can ever be the same again. Then the trick will be to perceive what is actually left. What are the new rules? What will we have learned about each other and ourselves? What will we keep, what will we try to recapture and claim back for ourselves? What do we throw away?

I’ll call her Kerry. Kerry lived a while back and in a parish many kilometres from here. Kerry had terminal cancer and she was a terrifyingly close in age to me. Kerry didn’t come to church much, but she was always receptive to a visit. The hospitality was generous and the conversation was gregarious.

There was a lot to like about her.

What was most admirable was her struggle with faith. She wanted to believe and she wanted to believe very much; particularly as things got grimmer and the cancer progressed.

She spoke frankly about this struggle with her faith and her mortality. Mixed in with the darkness of her doubts there was a deluge of questions and hope. There was a genuine and difficult struggle with the concept of a loving God as her body disappointed her more and more and more.

I was honoured to speak at her funeral and I think I said something like this.

There are many today who would say why would you have a priest and a Church funeral, for someone who seldom went to church. Well for one thing the Church will always honour anyone with the rite of Christian burial. The door is continuously open in these circumstances.

But more than that, Kerry was a person whose struggle with faith and her God was authentic. It was real, it was out there, it was a passionate wrestle with the hard questions. She wasn’t shy about asking the toughies.

And that is what made her special. She is one of the few that expressed outwardly what we all tussle with inwardly. There are many times when I have come into Church to say evening prayer and quietly closed the door behind me. Then I lock it. I calmly sit down and shake my fist at him and ask the same questions that Kerry asked. Most of them beginning with “Why?”

And if we are honest, somewhere deep in ourselves we have often asked these same questions and perhaps we are even asking them today.

Faith and doubt are the two sides of the one coin. If there was no doubt, then you would not require faith. You’d have the game all sown up and it would all be ticketyboo and tidy. None of us have arrived at that point yet, but we hope to one day.

To have a faith, no matter how feeble and to have doubts that are monsters, is part of the normal humdrum way of walking close to a pierced and risen saviour. The Risen Master appears frustratingly briefly, never when we want, in ways that we’re not expecting, or hoping for.

Thomas in today's gospel is very much like my friend Kerry. He articulates clearly, honestly and audibly what we all have wanted to say but because of social niceties and misplaced politeness, have never had the courage to speak out loud.

Thomas really wants to believe, needs to believe, would love to believe what his mates have told him  “but unless I can put my finger into his pierced hand. Haven’t we all wanted to say that. To do that.

Faith and doubt go together. You cannot have one without the other. Just as love and pain go together. You know that you are really in love when you hurt for, or pain over someone else. If it didn’t hurt, if there was no pain, or cost, it wouldn’t be love.

Which is why John in this mornings gospel so beautifully captures in this one incident with Thomas, both doubt and faith, love and pain. It is the pierced hand and side that Jesus offers to Thomas out of love. The prints and proof of what he did for Thomas, for you and I and for all those who walk closely and struggle and wrestle and question and bargain and shake our fist at Him. He in turn offers a pierced hand. He says to us “Put your hand here”.

In the end Kerry died a swift death. I count myself deeply privileged because she allowed me to walk a little way with her. The treasures she offered were not glib, pious, swift off the tongue platitudes. What she offered was an integrity and authenticity with her God. I am quite sure that her questions and her grappling continued onto the other side of the grave. Some of the answers would have been revealed when she got to the other side. A bit like asking what is England really like? Well you have to go and live there in order to get the real answer. But what I reckon will calm the the bubbling troubling ferment in her soul, is that moment when The master looks into her eyes and she will know that He is the answer. He is the home and the peace that lasts forever and ever Amen.

Sunday's Mass on the 19th of April, will be streamed at 10:30am from St. Mary's Dunkeld.

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