Mary Sumner
“It can’t have been easy”
Today I want to start with Mary Sumner's own Mum Mrs. Heywood. It is the culture and atmosphere of the home that we grow up in, that we silently absorb on a daily basis, which helps to form us as we mature. We don’t do this consciously or with deliberate acts. Rather we soak up more than we ever know from our family home. Sometimes we sense this only much later in life, especially when we find ourselves saying things just like our parents. Eerily it’s frequently word for word and in a tone that sounds just like Mum and Dad.
Mary Sumner was born Mary Heywood. Her Mother also had the name Mary. We are told that
“Mary Heywood was a woman of personal piety who held mothers’ meetings in her home in Herefordshire, England. She was a woman of great faith and quite wealthy” So you would have thought that it was all very grand and easy. But… there is a sad little footnote when we read that she suffered the loss of a six week old son.
It can’t have been easy.
Mary grew up a talented, educated lass learning 3 languages and travelling to Rome to complete her musical education. There she met her future husband George Sumner. So she began Rectory life with all its joys and privileges, together with its bumps and intrusions.
It can’t have been easy.
When Mary gave birth to her first born, a daughter, she wrote
” I shall never forget the awed sense of responsibility as I took her in my arms. It struck me how much I needed special training for so great a work and how little I knew. I felt that mothers had one of the greatest and most important professions in the world and yet there was none had so poor a training for its supreme duties.”
Being a parent and being in a family…
It can’t have been easy
The Mothers’ Union was still far off and yet it all stemmed from this time in Mary’s life.
So daunted and yet so enthralled Mary Sumner
was passionate about transforming the home–lives of Parish families, by helping the women to support one another in raising their children. Her husband was very supportive: ‘just share your heart – God will do the rest’. She was so nervous at the first meeting of the parish women, that she refused to speak, and asked George to take her place. It was very unusual for a woman to be a public speaker.
However, George encouraged her to speak from the heart and it went so well that she found the courage to speak at future meetings. Hoorah! Her talks were inspired by her faith – it was practical and down to earth – ‘Remember, Ladies, to be yourselves what you would have your children be’. After groups with women became well established, she was asked to speak to the men of the Parish. Now that can’t have been easy!
She was apprehensive, but agreed, and helped them to be more aware of what their wives did for them, to show more respect and love. The meetings grew, and included women – old and young, rich and poor. Others heard about her work, and started groups in their own areas.
In 1885, at a time when it was still unheard of for women to speak to large audiences, Mary Sumner was invited by the Presiding Bishop to speak to a packed church congress session for women in Portsmouth.
Now the whole “it can’t have been easy” thing has just been ratcheted up to its highest gear.
From 1900 onwards, she and the members started to advocate on issues of key importance to families and children – she campaigned to stop children collecting alcohol from public houses for their families, and for the age of marriage for girls to be raised from 12 to 16. She was not afraid to speak up on difficult issues, despite resistance from members of the establishment. When she died in August 1921, 4,000 women attended her funeral. She could not have conceived how the seeds which she planted would grow into a movement 4 million strong today, of members in 83 countries putting their faith into action to nurture healthy relationships in families and communities and to fight for social justice.
She was also not afraid to act outside the social norms, to do what she believed to be right. At a time when unmarried girls with children were condemned and cast out, she cared for and protected her niece and her illegitimate son.
Hey, hang on a minute. This would have been really quite something. An unwed Mum in the 19th century would have been looked down upon and besmirched. Thankfully to the likes of Mary Sumner instead of broadcasting disparaging remarks to anyone who will listen today we say
‘Welcome. You are a part of our family. How can we best support and encourage you? Our next MU meeting is…’
And there is a little backstory here that we can only guess at. What happened to the niece’s parents? Where were they? How come it was left to Aunty Mary Sumner to protect and look after this young lass and her child?
It can’t have been easy…and when things are not easy then prayer is the only place to start. So the prayer that Mary Sumner herself wrote will be a good place to end … err begin…as we continue Mary Sumner’s work.
“All this day, O Lord, Let me touch as many lives as possible for thee; and every life I touch, Do thou by thy spirit quicken, whether through the words I speak, the prayer I breathe, or the life I live. Amen”