Do I Really Need to Say This?

Do I Really Need To Say This?

One of the excruciating lessons that I have to learn and relearn continuously is the need to set and keep a guard over my mouth. I am privileged to have many conversations each and every day, and frequently I find myself falling into the trap of saying more than I need to or should.

To my detriment and therefore to the pain and angst of others, I have learnt that you cannot ‘unsay’ things. Once it’s out and spoken, you can’t retrieve and pretend like it didn’t happen. You can’t ‘erase’ the conversation, what is said and the way that it is said. And don’t get me started about electronic conversations which are there for all to see, print out, read and distribute literally around the world in a matter of seconds.

Some little ways forward that I have found are useful for me and therefore might be of some help to you, gentle reader.

With the issue of text or email, don’t send it unless you are absolutely sure and you have re-read it a couple of times. Maybe get an editor-in-chief to check it over before you do anything. Maybe even sleep on it for a night or two. Print it out and read it over the breakfast table whilst slurping down your porridge. Is this the sort of message you would like to receive? Can it be construed and misinterpreted in ways that you don’t intend?

As to the spoken word, that is much harder because it happens so quickly, there and then in the very moment. The only thing I have found that helps me … sometimes … is to try to listen to a small insistent voice pleading… Do I really need to say this?