Tsk Tsk Thomas
The usual homily for Easter two is often a bit of a slap on the wrist for poor old Thomas.
He was obviously snoozing and snoring when the Lord first appeared, and thus, the self-righteous preacher will warn his flock against the sin of sloth.
Then, when Thomas is told about the mind-bobbling appearance that he missed out on, he disbelieves. So there is a bit of a clip around the brow about the sin of disbelief.
But hey, it’s OK because Thomas gets a second opportunity to believe in the one who in turn, gives us a second chance to own up and confess ‘My Lord and My God’. We come to see the error of our way and fall down in Easter adoration My Lord and My God. We can all go home and say, “Whew! That was a close shave. But it all came right in the end. Roll the credits and turn up the lights.”
But I strongly suspect that there was something else going on with Thomas. I suspect this because I see a lot of me in Him.
Yes, I can be slothful, yes, I can be doubting, and yes, I have been given far too many 2nd chances. I also believe that in the long run it will be OK.
But let me give you another reason why I am like Thomas and Thomas is like me.
It’s not clearly spelled out, but consciously or subconsciously, I reckon there is a bit of Thomas that goes like this.
The other 10 disciples had this remarkable and extraordinary experience … What about me? How come they get front row tickets to the resurrection on opening night and I don’t?
Do we detect a slight tinge of jealousy creeping in here?
His line “Unless I see in his hands the print of the nails, and place my finger in the mark of the nails, and place my hand in his side, I will not believe.” is almost as if to say . Well, did you really see this chaps? Are you sure weren’t just seeing a ghost? You’ve made that mistake before you know.
I won’t feel so bad missing out if it was just a hoax after all.
This envy of Thomas slides easily into a deeply hidden but very potent insecurity. What if I missed out because I am not good enough, was not good enough, will not be good enough? Is there something inherently wrong with me that I didn’t get the viewing of the Risen Jesus that the others got? Or put another way. What have they got that I haven’t?
All this I know well from first-hand experience and reflection and if we are all honest…if we search our hearts and souls, we might discover that perhaps there is a bit of Thomas in all of us.
Something also needs to be said about those wounds. Without a flinch of hesitation, Thomas will point to the wounds and say. There, in the nail holes and in the pierced side that is how I will know that it really his him. He doesn’t say unless I can see the colour of his eyes, his stature and or hair colour. No no no. It is wounds that are exhibit A in the proof of the resurrection.
And the Risen Master when he returns to quell Thomas’s tantrum has no hesitation in agreeing with Him. Yep. You guessed right, Thomas. It’s all about the wounds. Prod and poke all you like, sunshine. It… is… me. And what would happen if we learnt to look first at the inner wounds of the other, instead of all the outward stuff. Would we not see significant beauty in their piercings?
So we should never be swift and harsh on Thomas. For it is precisely in the wounds of our doubts and struggles and disbelief and our pondering and our wrestles and grumpiness, it is precisely in the mess of our mistakes that he comes most potently and most powerfully and with unmistakable love says to you and to me.
“Put your finger here, and see my hands; put out your hand, and place it in my side; do not be faithless, but believing.”
Or in Fr. David's paraphrase ..See.. me touch the nail holes. You know that you want to. You don’t actually have to be envious at all. You need never be insecure or doubt yourself again. Ever. You were always loved, always wanted, always mine. I put my wounded hands into yours. I clasp your whoppers to my pierced side.
Without wounds, there is no healing. Without doubts, there is no faith. Without death, there is no life. St. Thomas knows this, and he knows that we are just like him and indeed, like every single disciple waiting in an upper room for resurrection. May St. Thomas continue to inspire, encourage and pray for us, until that day when we see what he saw and with unhesitating Easter joy, say what he said. My Lord and My God.