Our Defining Discussions.
I once made the point that the Archangel Gabrielle knows before he visits the Virgin Mary that this will be a defining discussion. He is well aware that once he steps over the threshold, Mary’s life will be changed forever. There can be no going back to her uncomplicated, quiet life.
The angel’s next step will slice her story in two, dividing all the days before, from all the ones to come.
It occurs to me that this is not the only defining discussion that has ever occurred in the history of the world. These sorts of discussions are happening all the time. Some of them are appalling. Like when you are made redundant or given a grim medical prognosis. That really slices your life in two. ‘Dividing all the days before from all the ones to come.’
Some are actually questions like ‘Will you marry me?’ Whatever the answer, the two people can never be the same again and a series of unstoppable events is ushered in.
It’s worth reflecting on these defining discussions and wondering what might have happened if we had answered differently. It’s even more important to reflect on the timbre of the conversation. The way things were said, particularly if you initiated the discussion. Then you had the advantage of knowing that the discussion was about to happen and therefore some power. With this comes responsibility and a duty of care for the respondent.
Finally, there is adjusting to the new circumstances. How are the people travelling in these new days? Even couples that have ‘reunited’ find themselves in a ‘different landscape’ with new rules and new ways of operating.
All of us have ‘defining discussions’. It’s not a matter of if they occur. It’s when they occur and how they occur.