The Less Said the Better

The less said the better

These words are an echo from a childhood memory that I can barely recall. Certainly, the context and place are lost to me now. But, I can still hear my mother saying, rather firmly as I recall… ‘And as for that other matter, the less said the better’! At the time it made no sense to me at all but then as a child, these adult ‘sayings’ probably weren’t meant to. But this phrase and a few others have stayed with me over the years. I wish now that I could recall the salacious story that went with the words of wisdom.

Many years later, my training Rector echoed my mother's words when we had been to a rather weighty pastoral encounter. It was a cautionary reminder that sometimes it’s best to ‘forget’ what you have heard and not say anything unless asked. In those days I had the luxury of a training rector and I could always kick it upstairs to him. ‘You better go and talk to the rector about that. He’s in charge’

Sometimes you do truly, honestly forget. Other times you try to tuck it away and try really hard to not remember.

Now I don’t have that advantage of a training Rector and I’ve learnt to mutter things like ‘Would you mind if I didn’t say anything?’. Or… ‘Now isn’t that interesting? I don’t seem to remember exactly what Great Uncle Kafoops said’.

Just as you can’t ‘unsee’ the things you see.. so you can’t ‘unsay’ things you hear. Once you say something audibly, out loud, for someone else to hear,… it’s out there. I relearn this all the time in this close-knit and caring community. You can always tell later, but sometimes … a lot of the time ‘The less said the better’.