Meet Mother Silence - your new best friend.
I was trying to negotiate an important phone call the other day. The content of the conversation was life-changing for the person at the other end. Fortunately, the effect was for the better. The things that we were chattering about would make a lot of people smile.
When I put the phone down I felt humbled and responsible. This was not something to be taken lightly and there were a number of convoluted intricacies that needed to be weighed carefully.
My guess is that each of us will have to make and receive such phone calls in our lifetime. Some will end in grins. Some will end in anger and tears. Some we will have to initiate and some will find us. But the thing that I have found most helpful is to pause frequently and in large quantities. Let the Mother silence do the talking. Mother silence is a very effective communicator. I know it sounds odd, but saying nothing allows the speaker to gather their thoughts and find the best fitting words. Mother silence also allows the listener to process the information, in a timely way and to assimilate it, even if the news is not gorgeous.
It’s OK to allow Mother Silence to have some space in the conversation. In fact, I would argue that it is essential that you give over to her frequently. She has done this sort of thing heaps of times before and she is really good at it! She has "the words" when we have none.
The conversation does not have to be jam-packed with words. The conversation will be far more fruitful if you let your new best friend Mother Silence speak for you. Go on… just take a deep breath, close your mouth and listen to your new best friend.