Quiet places with a noisy soldier

Lent 1      6/3/2022

“Brutus!… Brutus you bothersome brute. Let me buy you a drink” The boisterous voice came from my fellow solider at the Dodgy brothers inn. Festus’s timing wasn’t the greatest as I was beginning to negotiate a price for some entertainment with Matilda who works behind the bar. Festus and I have served together as soldiers for more than 3 years and become firm friends. Often Festus happens to be drinking at the same bar at the end of a hard day.

Our boss Claudius the centurion is an idiot but with 99 other soldiers to mind we actually don’t see a lot of him.

Our job is both hard and easy. It is hard when the crowds became noisy and grumpy and protest about  everything from taxes to Herod's private life.

Sometimes, we have to threaten or intimidate to make sure that peace is maintained.

Sometimes, because the wages are so pitiful and the work so disgusting, we threaten and accuse others in order to buy another round at the Dodgy bros bar.

And sometimes, we extort a denarius or six just because we can and we are in a good mood. It’s one of the perks that comes with the uniform. And yet …and yet…

Festus and I fall to discussing the next days operation. Peacekeeping at the Jordan River where some nut job called John has been stirring up the crowds. There’s been no blood shed but some people have been getting excited and the boss wants to make sure that the situation doesn’t get out of control. It should be a very easy gig but you can never tell and we both settle in for another  goblet of wine.

The next day we find ourselves on the Jordan river with a crowd of curious people who have come to hear this lunatic. John is absolutely convinced about what he says and often it is not suave or flattering.

Some of his speech is about the coming of the Messiah. And what needs to be done in order to get things ready, although it sounds more like a job description for the council workers than a religious speech.

Prepare the way of the Lord,
make his paths straight.
Every valley shall be filled,
and every mountain and hill shall be made low,
and the crooked shall be made straight,
and the rough ways made smooth;

And then he starts.

‘You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the wrath to come? Bear fruits worthy of repentance. Do not begin to say to yourselves, “We have Abraham as our ancestor”; then he picks up a rock. “I tell you, God is able from these stones to raise up children to Abraham. Even now the axe is lying at the root of the trees; every tree therefore that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire’.

Charming.. absolutely expletive charming. Thats a winning policy speech.

My heckles go up and I wonder how the crowds are going to take this. I reach for my sword… just in case like you know. Looks like I might get to biff a few people today.

To my bewilderment they actually fall for it.

“What should we do?” calls out one of them? The guy with the leather belt and the Costa wooly beard says..

“Whoever has two coats must share with anyone who has none; and whoever has food must do likewise.”

Which is just the bleeding heart, soppy sort of stuff that would appeal to the riff raff gathered on the banks of the Jordan river.

Then Zaccheus the cunning tax collector pipes up. ‘Teacher, what should we do?’

The response ‘Collect no more than the amount prescribed for you.’

It’s becoming a bit like open mike night down at the inn. Even Festus decides to get on board.

‘And we, what should we do?’

The response is pretty much my job description.

‘Do not extort money from anyone by threats or false accusation, and be satisfied with your wages.’

I squirm, because this is exactly my career path and I wonder how John knew. I’ve never met this guy before and yet he knows how the community works and what it thinks.

Well, for some of the folk this is all just a bit too much.  They grunt and turn away, others go forward for a swim in the river and the crowd disperses. There's no trouble  and we’re not going to be needed here.

“So what did you think of all that Festus?” “Mmmph. He’s as smart as a bag of rocks.” I grunt my assent to the general sentiment and we walk back to the inn, pleased to be knocking off early.

Late at night I’m listening to Matilda sleeping beside me. I’m awake because I can’t stop thinking about the guy at the river. It wasn’t just that he knew how I got my wine money. There was something else. He was authentic.

Tomorrow life will go on… I’ll get up tomorrow, put on the uniform, extort, belittle and intimidate. Have a great time… … and yet… and yet…