Wibbly Wobbly Time

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Mutterrings from Fr. David

Did you know that time is a wibbly wobbly thing? For example, the hour spent in the waiting room of the dentist to do a root canal is much longer than the hour you spend over a delicious meal in a wonderful restaurant with spectacular views looking into the eyes of that gorgeous someone.

I was reminded of how bendy time is when reading a book by John Green. He made the point that we usually measure time in days, weeks, months and years. These are the markers that we use to determine how much time has passed.

But what if  we chose to measure time in Hailey comet units or just a ‘Hailey’ for short. In 1986 I was spending my first year as priest in Portland. ‘One Hailey earlier, the first movie adaptation of Frankenstein was released. The Hailey before that, Charles Darwin was aboard the HMS Beagle. The Hailey before that, the United States wasn’t a country. The Hailey before that, Louis XIV ruled over France. In 2021 we are only five ‘Haileys’ away from the building the Taj Mahal. And two ‘Haileys’ away from the abolition of slavery in the United States.’

I found this a great comfort when we bewail the length of time that COVID and lockdowns seem to drag on. COVID will last less than one ‘Hailey.’

Some more numbers to crunch. Say the whole COVID thing lasts for three years. 2020, 2021 & 2022. I’ve been ordained a deacon for 36 years. This means that COVID has only been around for one thirteenth of my ordained life. If I was 60 years old, it would have been around for just one twentieth of my life. Now then… and this is the real kicker… if COVID lasts for three years, what fraction of your life will that be?

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