That thing you just can’t leave alone.
With all the hand washing and sanitising there has developed this small piece of dry skin at the base of my left little finger. It’s been there for some time now. It’s not sore, it's not itchy, it's not noticeable… it’s just there. I know it’s there because I scratch at it sometimes and it has become an unfortunate habit. I know full well what I have to do to fix it. I should use some moisturiser goop. But I don’t make time and I procrastinate. It would take me literally seconds to fix this, but I don’t. I don’t need to play with it. It achieves nothing, but just exacerbates the problem ensuring its longevity and preventing its demise.
It occurs to me that this outward physical thing is a perfect symbol of some of the things that I cannot leave alone. Stuff that is deep within me. Hidden unnoticeable, uncomfortable blemishes. The hideous ease and speed with which I revisit my past mistakes. The involuntary flinch when I see old so and so on the street. When did that start … and why?
But there is good news. My perception of The Master is that he has long forgotten about my blunders which are most definitely in the past. ‘As far as the east is from the west, so far has Our Lord put away your sins from you’ are the words we use in the sacrament of reconciliation. In other words the past blunders couldn’t be further away.
Still we rake over them. We can’t seem to help ourselves. Maybe with this shiny new year it is finally time to just stop! Draw breath. Reach for the moisturiser and rejoice in a new beginning which had already begun a long time ago.