23/9/25
Parents - The final frontier
It’s an odd but unfightable phenomenon, but I am finding that more and more childhood memories surface in my conscious memory. They just sort of pop up unbidden and flaunt themselves.
These memories teach me a bit about myself and a bit about my parents. They always leave me with the unquestionable fact that I was loved and my folks did genuinely try to do the right thing. For example, I vividly recall the time I got caught playing with matches and the appropriate punishment was meted out swiftly and with understandable vigour.
But no matter how many memories come up to the surface to say ‘Howdy’, I can only go so far in my understanding. I could never and probably will never understand my Mum and Dad as an equal adult. The years and circumstances did not allow that. So I can never completely understand what drove them, their joys and giggles, their hurts and tears. I can never completely grasp what made them tick.
So while I am continuously learning about all sorts of other people and enjoy the experience, this luxury of getting to know my parents is not afforded to me, which is odd because these are the people who helped to form me.
They will always be vital and fundamental, yet frustratingly ethereal and a marvellous mystery.
I shall look forward to more little memories appearing as each one will take me further and further into the infinite space of my past and, in a sense, my parents' past.
This final frontier I am learning is not something to be feared or approached with trepidation, but a whole new world that in my dotage, is just beginning to open up for me. Something else my parents are still generously giving to me.