Your next appointment with the Bogey Man
In that ambiguous parish, in that mythical year, a person of no specific gender and forgettable name came to me. Over a cuppa, or was it a glass… This person poured out in delicious and refreshing honesty their ongoing relationship with the Bogey Man. That’s right! The Bogey Man does exist.
It transpired that at 3:15 am precisely, the Bogey Man had snuck into this person’s home, stole silently to their bedroom and roused them from their slumber. They whispered only two terrifying words. A phrase and a question that The Bogey Man knows will strike horror into anyone’s heart and steal vital hours of therapeutic and essential sleep. “What if…?”
That’s all it would take for The Bogey Man to do his worst, effective and cruel he was.
So we listened and chattered. We allowed gentle dollops of silence to massage us. We eventually realised that the weapon of The Bogey Man was a futile bent stick, likely to break under the swiftest of logic’s glare.
Between us and the teapot, or was it a bottle, we phrased the whole encounter in a slapstick format which, from my dodgy memory, went something like this.
Your next appointment with the Bogey man is scheduled at 3:15 am tomorrow morning.
To prepare for your appointment, you should bring every fear, qualm and possible scenario that might cause you discomfort, grief and panic. Upon arrival, present them with your medicare card, your credit card, your driver’s license, together with 3 references. You can expect the side effects of sleep deprivation, cold sweats, irrational fear and impaired judgment. There is no medicare rebate for a consultation with The Bogey Man. He is cruel and greedy.
To kill the Bogey Man, you only need two words. First word.. sounds like…