4/5/25
Of Agape and Philo
I want to look at the detail of the questions Jesus asks St. Peter. To get under the skin of what’s happening here, we need to know that, in Greek, there are a few different words for ‘love’. In English, we only have the one word, but in Greek, there are different words for different kinds of love. And, in this passage, there are two different words used. One is ‘agape’, which indicates the love of deep fellowship, complete union. The deepest and most profound type of love there is. The second word is ‘philo’, which indicates brotherly love, deep friendship.
Now in verse 15, Jesus asks Simon Peter, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love me?’ And the word Jesus uses is ‘agape’: ‘Do you love me with a total and utter commitment? Are we in absolute union together, Peter?’ And Simon replies, ‘Yes, Lord, you know I love you.’ But the word Simon has replied with is ‘philo’. ‘Jesus, I love you. But to be honest, the way I betrayed you and ran away shows that I only love you like a brother, not as I should.’ Jesus looks at Simon, and he says, ‘That’s OK. Feed my sheep.’
Jesus is restoring him.
Then in verse 16, Jesus does the same thing again. ‘Simon, son of John, do you love me?’ – He uses the word ‘agape’ again ... Simon, aren’t you the one who, through the years, has promised never to leave me? Aren’t you the one who has always promised to live and die for me? Are you saying that you don’t have ‘agape’ type of love for me?’ And Simon Peter is again confronted by his own weakness and frailty, and he says to Jesus, ‘You know I love you’ – ‘philo’ love – brotherly love. ‘I’m sorry, Lord. I have tried and I have failed. I do love you, I really do. But I can’t live up to my own words. I know I bragged about my loyalty. I know I thought I was the bees' knees as a disciple. But at the end of the day, I can’t live up to my own standards.’ Jesus says, "That’s OK. Do the best you can. Feed my sheep".
Jesus is restoring him.
And then, a third time, Jesus asks him, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love me?’ But this time, Jesus uses the word ‘philo’. ‘Simon, you say you have brotherly love for me. But what kind of brother betrays his kinsman? What kind of brother denies even knowing him? What kind of brother runs away to save his own skin? Do you even have brotherly love for me?’ And we read in verse 17 that Peter was sad because he knew in his heart of hearts that he could not claim to have even brotherly love, such was the depth of his sin and betrayal. So Peter replies, ‘Lord, you know all things, you know I love you!’ And it is ‘philo’ love, which Peter uses here.
And each one of us, when we attend to the truth in our own hearts, stands with Peter at this moment. We look at Jesus and we sense him looking at us and we say, ‘Lord, I want to love. I really, really want to do what is right. I want to serve you. My intentions are good, honestly…but I am weak and frail and I get it wrong so often. I let you down, I betray you, I run away. My best is just not good enough. But please know, Lord, in my heart of hearts, despite my behaviour, I really do love you to the best of my ability. I know that the love I have for you is not what you deserve but it’s the best I can offer.’
And Jesus looks you in the eye and he looks me in the eye and today he says to us: ‘That’s OK. The best you have to offer is good enough for me. I love you. I forgive you. I want to be with you.’
Today, Jesus is restoring us.
And, as Jesus restores us, he asks only one thing of us: ‘Take care of my sheep’.
Love one another.
Take care of one another.
Forgive one another.
Have compassion on one another.
Show kindness and tolerance and patience towards one another.
Share hospitality with one another.
That is all Jesus asks of us.
After all our sin and betrayal. After all our denying him in our thoughts and words and actions. After all the cowardice we have shown through our lives in faith. After all our apathy in discipleship. After all that, Jesus meets with us today and says, ‘It’s OK. I still love you. If you want to make it better – just love one another as I have loved you.’
Jesus is restoring us.
The closing words in verse 19 are this: ‘Then Jesus said to him, ‘Follow me.”’ The ultimate act of reconciliation and restoration… I want you to follow me.
And the take home for today is this. That it’s OK to continue to strive for Agape even if we only achieve Philo. You know where the bar is set and you should enjoy reaching for it, jumping high and knowing that ultimately you will be caught in the net, in his arms in his love.