To my horror a memory bubbled to the surface the other day. I recalled with shame that I was denigrating one of my fellow clergy. Quite a tirade it was and my ever so patient listener took it all in good natured silence. When I had exhausted my verve and vocabulary, they quietly gave me the rest of the picture.
Was I aware for example, that Fr. Blogg’s wife suffered from a rare medical condition that sapped time, energy and dollars? Did I know about their child's addiction and there were some other unmentionable factors as well.
I apologised and went away chastened and disappointed with myself. Not only was I more sympathetic to Fr. Bloggs next time I met him (in fact I was almost effusive) but it also taught me a lot about the ‘not so gentle art of finger pointing’.
We have no idea what another is going through. No concept at all. We are oblivious to the daily trickiness and complexities that others stumble into, wade through, and the monsters they wrestle with. Yet we are swift to engage in the not so gentle finger pointing sport particularly behind their back and especially with our fearless leaders no matter their platform or area of expertise.
Would it be such a terrible idea if instead of pointing our finger with retribution and scorn, we instead pointed at another with praise and support? We might disagree in principle with another on all sorts of issues and ideologies, but deep down they are just like us. They laugh, they cry, they get grumpy, they love and are loved. We’re not so different. In this little fleeting life, our opportunities to point a finger with understanding and encouragement evaporate all too swiftly.